Playing Popular Characters in Offshoot Games

There are times when video game developers decide to try something new with characters we’ve grown to love. When imaginations go wild, some of the subsequent spinoffs might be a little weird:

The Pokemon Pinball

As a Japanese role-playing game (RPG), Pokemon is one of the most popular in the world, but it’s also one of the most typical (like no one ever was). Pokemon Pinball, on the other hand, throws all of it out the window. However, I must admit that Pokemon Pinball is a blast. Even though it’s a bizarre offshoot, we sort of like it?

A pinball game using Pokemon as bumpers is called PP (heh). When you rack up enough points, you’ll see them appear in the form of mini-games. This is due in large part to the fact that putting Pokemon on everything, from backpacks to bologna, is an easy way to make money. As a follow-up to the original, there was a sequel with additional Pokemon in it. It’s true what they say about the first time: you’ll never forget it. The original Pokemon Pinball is still the best, at least in our opinion.

Captain Toad is a professional scavenger.

When you’re not playing Mario, it’s easy to forget how much you like Toad’s antics. Despite the fact that no one really likes him, Nintendo thought that he was the greatest option for a new game!

Toad, a derivation of a mini-game from Super Mario 3D World, focuses on finding money and gems rather than conquering Bowser and rescuing Peach. It’s sort of like a Gem Hunter, you know? However, you are unable to fight back, unlike in every other Mario game ever.

Jump, if you’re up for it! Exploration, problem solving, and doing your best not to be struck by anything are all part of the experience. What a shame it is if the majority of Toads are as feeble as this. It’s like snatching a piece of baby candy.

The Arm Wrestling of Punch-Out!!!

A convicted rapist’s appearance in a video game has never been better (at least you can beat him up at the end). Although Mike Tyson is nasty, the game is still very excellent, but what’s not? It’s a spin-off of arm wrestling.

Punch-Out is, in fact, a reality. You could play this version of the game in a completely different way: instead of attempting to knock out more and more powerful opponents as you progressed through stages, you tried to… arm wrestle people? Lame. You do get to arm wrestle with Frankenstein’s monster in the end, however, so there’s that.

“This game is short and it stinks,” we’re not going to mince words about it. Make Kick-Out, instead of just making another Punch-Out!!! offshoot. If you don’t want to produce a spinoff, don’t do it.

Techniques for Surviving the Fallout

What’s the finest thing about the Fallout video games? Combat that moves like a chess piece by piece! This is not the finest part, right? Then what is this supposed to be? I guess it means that you’ve never played Fallout Tactics, an action-adventure game where you play chess against your uncle in the Fallout universe. As you blaze across the postapocalyptic Wasteland, you take turns moving your characters—members of the Brotherhood of Steel—without the joy of really traversing the Wasteland.

Even die-hard Fallout fans have their doubts about this title. You can understand why – the visuals are terrible, the storyline is meaningless, and the only thing noteworthy about it is its inclusion in this post. One thing we can say about it is that it has different endings, much like the rest of the Fallout games. Fallout 3’s “kill yourself because of reasons” ending is the worst of them all, therefore it’s now one game away from becoming a nice Fallout game.

This is the Federation Force version of Metroid Prime.

The experience of playing Metroid Prime was revolutionary. For the first time, a first-person shooter and platforming game were both included in the same game. First Metroid game to use 3D graphics.

It and its successors are among the greatest video games ever developed. Metroid Prime: Federation Force proudly continued the heritage of its predecessor by being… in 3D.

You don’t play as Samus as in the original Metroid Prime games. It’s a lot of fun to play a bunch of generic space police instead! The fact that they’re riding around on these massive mechs does at least bring to mind Metroid, right? If you’re searching for more soccer in your Metroid, there’s a three-on-three sport where you can blast a ball across the pitch.

In the face of widespread demand from Nintendo fans, the company decided not to make a new Samus game “What the heck is this? Do you wish to take on the roles of NPCs from a single game? Isn’t Samus as good as you? And you’d want to engage in a game of baseball with them? Weird. Okay, that’s OK with me!”

The Battle of Halo Wars

Ah, Halo Wars: the game that no one wanted but now does. Due to the fact that they did not. A real-time strategy game (in which you function as a general in charge of a large number of soldiers), it differs from the previous Halo titles in precisely zero ways from the original.

Halo games changed the way people played shooters, but this game changed the way people cared about Halo games. Only geeks who were bullied by D&D players in high school enjoy RTS games, and this one is OK as an RTS. Thankfully, there was only one of this game, so we can put it out of our minds and go on to the next one.

Furthermore, the game’s title, Halo Wars, is one of the most ridiculous I’ve ever seen. To be honest, you don’t have to remind us that Halo is about fighting a war every time you mention it. We want to see the conflict!

Pacman: The Next Generation

Sonic Adventure is a popular video game series. What about Megaman Legends? Blocky visuals and terrible narration are the hallmarks of both games, which feature 2D platform characters in a pseudo-RPG setting. These other games are horrible, but this one takes the cake for being the worst of the bunch.

Pac-Man is a little yellow pizza-looking character that eats pellets and flees from ghosts, and we all know who he is. What if we made a video game about him going to get milk for his child and then returning?

The NES-era Shenmue is exactly what New Adventures wanted to do with the simple arcade game character we all know. He goes on pointless escapades, and the conversation is consistently terrible.

It’s a ridiculous waste of time. Neither are there any labyrinths here! And because it’s a point-and-click, there’s nothing you can do. Pac does what you instruct him to do.

What a whoop. But there are phantoms here! There’s nothing you can do about it. Pac’s pleasure begins when you press a button, give him a pellet, and watch him devour ghosts.

In addition to being a poor game, it served as an inspiration for a plethora of other awful games. New Adventures, we say “blepppbt” to you. It sounds like a snort to me.

Mario has vanished.

Our first choice was “[ERROR: MISSING DATA],” but our editors deemed it to be too meta for the purpose of this exercise. Mario is missing, so we’ll have to speak about it.

Imagine all the fun, joy, and excitement of an old NES-era Mario game. Consider the stunning visuals, fantastic audio, and seamless platforming. Just do rid of the stages and replace them with town squares, and you’ll have a far more exciting adventure in your quest to locate Mario. Because he hasn’t been seen in public.

In these towns, do you have anything to do? Nope. Just walk around and talk to people and answer basic history questions (because this is an educational game… the one thing kids wanted less than coal for Christmas) and then go fetch things so they’ll give you items you can give to other people to get even more items and on and on and on and eventually you find Mario if your cartridge hasn’t already been broken. Honestly, it’s all you do in the whole game.

Your kids would get Mario is Missing if they were afraid of saying “I hate you” but yet wanted to make it obvious.


No offence to the title, but c’mon, let’s try not to laugh too hard. Dissidia? I don’t know what it means. The best-selling game, as determined by our research, is what we have here.

However, we’re not going to pretend that this game is anything but odd. Many characters from Square’s Final Fantasy games appear in this game, and you play as them all while punching one other mercilessly. If you’re a fan of the Smash Bros. series, you’ll probably like this.

Of course, this is a game for the PSP, Sony’s bid to dethrone the DS as mobile gaming’s Lord High King. This game is entertaining, but it’s not amazing because of those two factors. In addition, it’s simply plain strange.

The original plan for Dissidia was to be a Kingdom Hearts spin-off, and that’s what it started off as. But really? The Kingdom Hearts spinoff is an odd one, so don’t bring it up. Disney and Final Fantasy make for an interesting combination, but it’s also fun.

Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland, Just-Picked

You can now buckle up, kids. We’re going to discuss Tingle today. In The Legend of Zelda series, Tingle is the human who longs to be a fairy. He’s a horrible Japanese parody of a homosexual guy since he’s arrogant, pushy, and crucial to the games he appears in.

No one in the United States likes him, but in Japan, it seems like everyone loves him, so he’s given his own series of games that are exclusively available in Japan.

There are a lot of great games out there, but the one with the finest name is Freshly-Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland. For those who aren’t even somewhat interested in the Zelda universe, Freshly-Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland is the perfect place to discover rupees while maintaining sanity in the real world. Beat people up and make food; in the end a fairy grants you the happiest of happy endings. When he moves up to her and begins bobbing his head, all we hear are sighs and heartbeats. The climax of your story is a sexual one.

Zelda, on the other hand, can barely give Link a kiss on the cheek. Tingle, what is your secret?

Tournament of Tekken Cards

You’ll understand why this game is blasphemous if you know even a little bit about what any of those terms signify. Tekken has experimented with other genres in the past, including a solo fighting game that followed the exploits of a single character, a tag team fighting game, and even a bowling game (as a mini game, but still). But what’s the matter with this?

The Tekken series is, as the name suggests, a fighting game series. What do you do in fighting games that you don’t in other games? Play Tekken-themed Magic the Gathering, which is essentially the same game. A mobile Tekken game that wasn’t exactly a fighting game should at least include the option of moving characters around. Bowling, for example, is a lot of fun.

Soccer with Megaman

In a number of titles, well-known video game characters may relax by participating in sports. Nevertheless, Megaman Soccer stands out as the most bizarre.

A sporting event has been assaulted by robots, and Megaman must put a stop to it… by playing soccer. As a matter of course. Other than that, there are many explanations. After that, you’ll be able to transform into hundreds of duplicates of yourself and take against the killer robots in a game of soccer. That’s not a joke, but it’s so absurd that we haven’t come up with anything else.

Soccer, as you may have suspected, is quite different from the rest of the series. Selecting which robot to battle is the sole commonality between them. What’s more, the thought of Megaman playing golf and go-karting with his deadliest adversaries doesn’t make sense.

As a starting point, the world of Megaman Soccer is one in which humans are almost completely enslaved, and robots either serve, murder or go through existential crises. In a world like that, who has time for sports?

Even more crucially, the odd Mario games are, by and large, really excellent. What’s not one of these? This game is a complete waste of time.

Starfox: The Great and Powerful

Starfox Adventures is another another game in which you play as the characters you’ve come to know and love, but you’re forced to do nothing you like. Is flying your favourite element of the game? Possibly, and if so, you’re in luck… for a little while. There is no flying in the remainder of the game; instead, you’re left to explore a dinosaur-infested world with a friggin stick.

You could compare it to The Legend of Zelda, but it would be furrier and worse. Basically, that’s what this game is like. Throughout the game, you’ll be battling dinosaurs and rescuing the lives of humans (who look like dinosaurs) until you discover that the series’ primary antagonist, Andross, is behind it all. To combat him at this moment is exactly what you should have been doing throughout the whole game. What’s going on with all of these spinoffs that we don’t enjoy? The F-Zero game where you go fishing has us all pumped up at this point.

This is the Chocobo Race.

Take one of Final Fantasy’s most engaging and silly characters, the rideable and lovable Chocobos, and place them in an animated cartoon environment where you may race against each other. In fact, a Final Fantasy racing game that doesn’t contain any of the game’s major protagonists uses a cast of non-player characters instead.

You don’t really ride the Chocobos, but rather race them in go-karts, as the title suggests. It’s because when you can run around the whole planet without ever getting weary, you just need wheels and petrol to move about.

Cult films are notorious for their inability to be classified as excellent or awful, yet no matter how you look at it, they’re all wonderful. It’s like a video game version of it. It’s bizarre, entertaining, and downright horrifying all at the same time. Now that we think about it, it’s just like most spinoffs, too.

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